Prologue: I am a HUGE proponent of fighting in hockey. I am also very against the new trend of taking all physical contact out of sports because, unfortunately, most of these whiny overpaid athletes (be it from steroids or just lack of manliness) have no testicles. This is why I love hockey. Because these ARE real men playing a real contact sport with heart, dedication and without complaining (sans Crosby). …I digress.
Now, having read that…
If at least 3 Penguins players aren’t suspended following Game 3 yesterday, Brendan Shanahan must be fired. Immediately.
Going chronologically through this debacle of a hockey game, we’ll start with the Aaron Asham incident. Brayden Shenn comes in strong with a Madden-Hit-Stick crush-job of a clean open ice check on Paul Martin. Asham comes over to defend his fallen linemate with a thunderous clean check of his own? Hell no. He cross-checks Shenn in the throat and then punches him in the back of the head when he’s laid out face down on the ice.
Now I could maybe buy that you aren’t trying to go for the throat (quite literally) and in that situation you just mean to catch him up a little high to send a message, take your 2 minutes, and move on. But then ya go and punch the dude in the back of his damn head. Looks an awful lot like a bitch move, Aaron. One that should get your ass suspended.
Then we have this James Neal idiot. This dude I have a serious problem with as a hockey fan. Your team is down and out of the game, tempers are flaring, and I understand your frustration. But you can’t go around launching yourself at peoples heads, nowhere near the play, taking cheap shots. If you don’t want to be embarrassed 8-4, then play some goddamn defense! Score some goals! You’re a fucking professional, Neal. Act like one. There is absolutely no place for goonery like this in the world’s most elite hockey league. When you target 2 different Flyers’ (Sean Couturier & Claude Giroux) heads in the same period, one of them isn’t even near the puck, it isn’t physical play, it’s just being dirty. Bitch moves #2&3 of the game Mr. Neal.
And that brings us to Craig Adams. The man who jumps Scottie Hartnell from behind and starts ripping at his bucket and wailing on the back of his head, all before Hartnell can get his gloves off and head up. Finally Hartnell breaks free and the two get to dance for real… until Adams hugs Hartnell and then begins pulling his hair.
To borrow from Zack Ryder for a second, “Are you serious bro?” Hair pulling? Really? Really? REALLLLLLY?
All ECW cat fight tactics aside, the suspendible offense is being the second man in, and not giving Hartnell a fair chance to fight up front. Also, Bitch Move #4. The hair-pulling? Bitch Move #5.
And finally, the top Bitch Move of the Penguins afternoon: Sidney Crosby.
Basically, he’s the reason most of these wildfires started anyway. First, everyone knows there’s gonna be hell to pay for anyone who looks cross at the league’s sissy little golden boy. So what does he do? Instigate. The entire game. He pesters everyone being a little bitch, getting in peoples’ faces, batting their gloves away, just being a dick. And that isn’t what I get pissed about. Its the double standard that gets me. The kid whines and complains every post-game presser to anyone who will listen about how other players are dirty and how things somehow weren’t fair for him. Yet he is public enemy number one for being dirty and having things be unfair in his favor!
Example: I hated Sean Avery. He was a total dickhead on the ice. But he would be the first to tell you his main goal was to draw penalties, screw with the goalie, be dirty, and piss off the other team. Sean Avery also didn’t get calls his way 100% of the time. Fair enough. The man is what he says he is and sometimes gets away with one, and sometimes gets sent to the box, and sometimes gets his due ass-whooping. I can live with that.
I can’t live with the Crosby crap. I know he can’t be suspended (even if he actually did something that really did deserve it), but he should be… for being a hypocrite, a whiner, and a pussy.
All I want is some consistency. If he’s gonna be allowed to poke the bear, let his ass get eaten.
This kind of turned into a rant more than a blog and I tried being as objective as possible. Sorry ‘bout that. Anyway, the key points are: Asham, Neal, and Adams should be suspended. Adams for a game or 2. Asham and Neal, goodbye indefinitely. Crosby = bitch. Pens = goons. Bring your brooms to Game 4 Flyers fans… I smell a sweep.
